Dear friend, brother, best friend, confessor, intimate, moral centre, reliable buddy, …

I am so grateful to you for all the wonderful memories you have given me, for all the times you have listened to my woes and given me a fresh perspective, for the help you gave me over the 25 years of our friendship.  For insisting that I meet Alan who is now my beloved husband, for the thoughtful gifts presented on birthdays and Christmas, for the moral support through Masters study, divorce, upheavals with children, house moves, relationship beginnings and ends, illness and all the travails of normal life in South Africa and later in England as well.  You have been a part of my life closely woven into my consciousness and in the last 2 and half  years constantly in my prayers and thoughts as you, supported by your bench team, struggled to overcome a range of illnesses that started with the gastric lymphoma.  Through it all when I needed you I was able to get the communication I needed.  I can’t imagine you helpless and thin and suffering and now lifeless.  You will always be robust in spirit and body whether walking on the beach, going to an unusual Shakespeare play, watching soccer or rugby, making penetrating comments at my dinner table and other peoples’ – having a drink in the Fat Cactus or whichever house you were living in… always that aura of wisdom and somewhat of enigma.  You were a private person and one had to dig a bit for information and there was some sadness and gaps and I longed for you to meet the partner you deserved.  You who had so generously supported me into a loving marriage.  Wise man, loving friend, you will live on in our memories and auras.  Hamba kahle mzala

I wrote this to you last year, don’t remember if I posted it but it fits again now…

The children think of you and claim you as one of us in the family – I am sure you can pick and choose your family now – you have done so much for so many and loved so many so well.  More than 20 years have passed with us in each other’s lives and we are still close enough to remember the feel of the big hugs so generously bestowed.  Tamsin thought of you leaning backwards and twinkling!!  As you do.  So we are there with you dear one in thoughts, in stories and reminiscences and so it will always be – we are all immortal as we stay with each other.  Our closeness will never end and I will take your constancy and humour and patience with me to my grave.


About retrocentricaussie

We are a pair of ageing 'gypsies' who find junk and sell antiques, especially objects from the art nouveau/art deco years and old and well-loved tools. We also occasionally buy antiques as well!! We haunt clearance sales, garage sales, charity shops and sometimes dumps. Lately we have even been to a 'proper' auction. The thrill is in the chase for good stuff at prices we can afford and still sell the items on at a profit sufficient to support us. We recycle what other people don't want anymore, we find new homes for nice things. We sell at markets and antique fairs, swap meets and wherever else we can find. Our clientele are mostly ordinary people who want something they can afford that will enhance their quality of life. We are especially pleased when generation Y buy from us. It suggests that appreciation of quality and good design is still part of our modern aesthetic.
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6 Responses to Chester

  1. Leanne Browning says:

    Dear Lynette
    Thank you for sharing this tribute to a dear friend. I recognized the man immediately. I found myself thinking yes that is the man I knew and loved.
    Leanne Browning

  2. Nick Welz says:

    Dear Lynette

    This is a lovely piece that captures Chester so well & it is wonderful to see the photos too.

    Thank you so much for posting it.

    Nick Welz

  3. David Amies says:


    That was very powerful. Thank for letting others in.

    David Amies

  4. quintin style says:

    thank you lynette for bestowing such a beautiful tribute on my beloved brother whom i have only really discovered in his illlness and passing,having lived so far apart for so long.words like this are helping with a grief i don’t really know how to deal with,my heart feels so broken thank you.

    • Oh Quintin
      What can i say. Knowing Chester and being in his life was such a privilege. Not that he was perfect, he could infuriate me as well… I know that he valued you, remember when we all went together to that music show? It was a really good evening. Let the grieving happen. Don’t deal with it… you don’t have to, succumb to the pain and feelings and all will be well. You will process and grow. Alison is a wonderful sister, I remember her stoicism and strength when coping with her breaking heart years ago… the cricketer… You will all grow in your relationships through Chester. I too am struggling with tears and loss. We all will for a while and then it will settle and we just relish the happy memories and you can feel so proud of what you did for Chester in the last many months. What would he have done without you and Debbie?



  5. So sorry to hear of Chester’s passing. Thinking of you and all of your circle with love and sympathy and fond remembrance.

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